I’m not sure if it’s inherent to the process of medicine, but there is certainly so much uncertainty in medical school. Truth be told, I’ve really enjoyed these first three months of medical school, things are dynamic, people are kind and everyone has a genuine enthusiasm in caring for others. But the constant, looming, uncertainty really takes a toll on you. I find myself frustratingly asking:
What are the key points for this unit? How in depth should I go with this material? Is this worth my time? Should I approach this material in group study or solo? What are my priorities? Should I take this night off (meanwhile I walk out of the library seeing all my peers still studying thus kickstarting the anxiety)???????
You have to choose your battles and on exam day, you go into war hoping that you’ve prepped enough in all domains. First exam done. Of course, I failed the public health portion of the exam which notoriously is the easiest part. That is the most George thing that could have happened (Ray said: ‘HAHA, you would fail the public health portion but it’s fine, onward and upward‘ *facepalm*).
Now that we have a few weeks off, I’ve had the opportunity to do some self-reflection. You don’t really get the chance for this amidst the study grind for exam. A few things that I need to improve:
- Develop more meaningful relationships with my classmates. It might be something that takes time or unattainable for there are so many other things going on. I hope it’s the former. I have been trying to bring people together and create some new friendships but DAMN is it hard.
- GO BACK to my med school goals list, and start doing some of the things I planned for when I came to UCONN: research, shadowing, innovation, etc.
- Keep in touch with old friends. I think I did ok with this, but I need to do better. I’m here today because of mentors and friends!
- Astrophotography in Connecticut.
- Bring my guitar up from New York and start that up again.
- Find a mentor in the clinic. I really need some guidance…
Excited for these next few months, anxious but excited. Song!
Mildly Muddling 