45 Days since my last post. I wonder what this means about who I am? Do I get distracted easily, yes. Is that bad? Not necessarily?? Hmm, I’m all over the place these days. Things change and the key is your ability to adapt. I feel as though I can adapt well to small change, but big change… Big change is when I need a moment to think and clear my mind.
Last week I was in NY for my brothers engagement where he asked the love of his life to marry him. It’s weird because, at least in my head, hes been a child all his life. Not like a child child, but sort of me associating him to the memories of our childhood. That’s not the case anymore and it’s weird thinking about that as I grew up by his side for almost 18 years of my life (right before I went over to college).
Now, I’m about to go on coop again and begin my MCAT studies. Things change so fast!! Just a couple months ago I was in Istanbul having the time of my life and now I’m working my *ss off for something I can’t experience until 10 years from now. It’s kind of discouraging, which has made me realize something about myself. I sort of block out this fear of how much time I have left to attain my goals by only planning a year ahead. But big events, like my brothers engagement, has made these “long term goals” MUCH more apparent to me, so much in fact that it’s actually frightening. You see all these individuals who start after you, now ahead of you, its frustrating that even when you think you’re working hard, things sometimes don’t work out.
I’ll try to write more for you guys. In the meantime, here is a 2 hour chillstep mix that I listen to when I study::
Mildly Muddling 